When It All Blends Together
At some point, after you've been on the Rez for a while, everything starts to become the same. The scenery never becomes less inspiring, the stories never become less heartbreaking, the people never become less important, and the work never becomes easier, but everything and everyone becomes an amalgamation of need and stories that wrap up into one unending experience.
It will wear you out, and despite the best efforts of anyone, there doesn't seem to be a good cure. Leaving the Rez (as I've now done eight weekends in a row) for trips to Rapid City are one respite from the monotony of Pine Ridge, yet the city only brings out other inequalities that screw with your mind... Everything from the television that hangs over the baggage claim at the RAP Airport, to the sterile environment inside shopping centers.
When you are on Pine Ridge, it's almost easier to clear your mind than when you are off. Here, we are surrounded by the good and the bad all the time, but it's a constant that never changes.
In the past few weeks, I've been on a multitude of work projects, and have done everything from deck building, to trailer skirting, to electrical work. I've been from one end of the Rez to the other, and have worked with some of the most caring families I've yet to meet.
Yet, I feel uninspired to write about any of them. In my mind, although I can recall names and jobs and the conditions we worked in, the overall emotional connection isn't there. It's as if I've built some kind of a block in myself to distance myself from the reality of what we are doing.
Why is this happening? I don't know. Probably because you have to in order to get up every day and do it again. I'm not sure that any of us would be able to keep doing what we do if we didn't take this work one day at a time.
Pine Ridge is an incredible place, but it will challenge you in every way you can imagine. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually... And then there are those great 104 degree days, just for good measure, that are thrown in there to see if you can get through the day on a work site with no shade.
So far, so good.
It will wear you out, and despite the best efforts of anyone, there doesn't seem to be a good cure. Leaving the Rez (as I've now done eight weekends in a row) for trips to Rapid City are one respite from the monotony of Pine Ridge, yet the city only brings out other inequalities that screw with your mind... Everything from the television that hangs over the baggage claim at the RAP Airport, to the sterile environment inside shopping centers.
When you are on Pine Ridge, it's almost easier to clear your mind than when you are off. Here, we are surrounded by the good and the bad all the time, but it's a constant that never changes.
In the past few weeks, I've been on a multitude of work projects, and have done everything from deck building, to trailer skirting, to electrical work. I've been from one end of the Rez to the other, and have worked with some of the most caring families I've yet to meet.
Yet, I feel uninspired to write about any of them. In my mind, although I can recall names and jobs and the conditions we worked in, the overall emotional connection isn't there. It's as if I've built some kind of a block in myself to distance myself from the reality of what we are doing.
Why is this happening? I don't know. Probably because you have to in order to get up every day and do it again. I'm not sure that any of us would be able to keep doing what we do if we didn't take this work one day at a time.
Pine Ridge is an incredible place, but it will challenge you in every way you can imagine. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually... And then there are those great 104 degree days, just for good measure, that are thrown in there to see if you can get through the day on a work site with no shade.
So far, so good.
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